Joy Doesn't Mean Ignoring the Negative

You know, I'm naturally optimistic, I would say even joyful.  I soothe myself by singing or dancing to music. I did it as a kid growing up and still do today.  I could have just gotten in trouble at home, I remember, could be really upset. I would go through those moments, cry or brood in a corner then, when the moment has passed, would start humming. So all in all, I'd say I know how to pick myself up. However, in the interest of honesty, I must say that I don't understand why people are not allowed to feel what they feel anymore. You know, feelings exist for a reason.  There's happy, sad, excited, angry, moody, gloomy, you know the whole array. Yet, these days, there's a notion that only positive feelings should be expressed and I want to challenge that. Why? Why should people only express their joy but not their sadness? Their excitement but not their anger? I completely understand the issue concerning anger and the danger associated with individuals who suffer from mental illness and need their moods regulated medically. I understand and advocate for that. I'm talking about the average person here, the one who's living life independently, has a job and takes care of herself or himself. So these folks are not allowed to have a bad day? Not allowed to have a moment of distress? Is that realistic? Actually I got it wrong. I believe it's "of course they can have their bad days. They will have bad days. Everyone does. They're just not allowed to acknowledge it publicly". God forbid they do that. They are criticized, chastised, judged. Seriously?  Everyone is looking for their own nirvana, a universe where everything is ever so peaceful, harmonious.  Shoot! I'd love to get to that place, too! I love nothing more than a couple of days problem-free. Can we really go through life ignoring or pushing away all the negative feelings without dealing with them? If we do so, aren't we repressing them and, if that's the case, won't they come out at some point, causing us to act impulsively?

I don't know but I always felt better when I expressed my feelings. I could choose to talk to someone about them or, to write about them in a journal. I could also just allow myself to feel whatever it is that I'm feeling before I reflect on it. OK. So this happened and this made me really angry. What can I do about it? Or, there was a death in my family and, I'm saddened by the loss. I'm mourning. The whole time I'm going through this, I don't really fell like being chirpy. I don't really want to force myself to participate in anything. I just want to wallow for a little bit in my feelings, especially if I'm dealing with a loss. I know people mourn in different ways and that's mine. If I'm angry, I seek out a friendly ear. It could be my husband, one of my siblings or a friend. I vent. I may cursed if the situation warrants it; I may do some research to find out what I can do to get myself out of whatever is causing me grief. The whole time I'm dealing with this, I'm not feeling positive necessarily.  I may not be productive either, not at first anyway; by the end of that cycle maybe. Either way, these times exist in everybody's life and they are real. They're part of life. I like to use the phrase "live an authentic life" so I like to be honest with myself or at least, I try to be, as often and as much as I can. I know who I am. I know I'm naturally upbeat but that doesn't mean that I don't have moments when I don't feel that great, when I want to talk about whatever it is that's on my mind, whatever it is that's bothering me.
I mean, this is life. Life is made of of a series of problems that we try to overcome as best we can and, yes, we strive to live our best life in between but we still deal with stuff, stuff that may not be very pretty so excuse-me if I'm not your escape for the day.  While I enjoy posting motivational and encouraging posts, I also like to talk about some of the challenges I encounter.  Doing so gives me clarity and helps me gain some perspective.
The good thing is that dealing with them, talking about my challenges, it does not take away my joy. The joy is always there, inside. I've always had it and it has helped carry me through many difficult times. Joy is what allows me to sing a happy song, to enjoy dancing and to laugh at the old reruns of a comedy show on TV. I think I have plenty of reasons not to have joy, really. Then again, it's all about how you look at it.  The whole "is the glass half-empty" or "half-full" business. I guess mine is half-full since I always remind myself that, as bad as things are, they could be much worse, that there are people who have it much worse than me.  Things may not be perfect in my life; no, let me correct that. Things are far from perfect but I still love the people I'm sharing my life with. They make me smile and I enjoy living every day with them. I love seeing my son, autistic, complex medical history and all, I love spending time with him, love him to pieces and when I listen to music, I like to make him dance with me. I love that. I love laughing at jokes with my husband even as we may be dealing with a serious problem, something that may not be resolved right away but I love those moments we have. I love taking part in different types of activities, love being part of life. But even with all of that, I still like to keep it real. I say it like this: It's called life. Live and learn. It is what it is. I like to deal with things so if I choose to talk about something that upsets me, that's what I'll do. Then later, when I'm over it, or I guess when the intensity of the moment has passed, I listen to some music.

If you live in the South Florida area. You can catch my first ever tv interview on the show New Haitian Generation.  It will air tonight at 8pm on Becon TV, channel 19 or 63.  Not sure if you can watch it on line but you can always try to google it and watch the show in real time.  I really enjoy connecting with my readers and telling them the story behind a piece I wrote.  I hope I'll get to do that a lot more.  Until next time...