July 26, 2014
Seeking Joy
I can't help but feel grateful for God's blessings both big and small. And, because I am grateful, I am happy. And because I am happy, I want to, not just exist, but live. I have a choice to make: I can either curl into a ball, sink into sadness and despair over what's wrong in my life or, get up and face life with faith and determination, celebrate the good that comes my way when it does. I came to realize that feeling blue and bugged down, mopping around when life is knocking me down doesn't really solve anything. It doesn't make things better faster so, while I accept those feelings when they come, because they do come for I am human and I do have those moments like everybody else, I seek joy. I try to enjoy every moment, no matter how brief, that brings joy to my life. And that has helped me, strengthened me a lot more than the tears I have shed. I will continue to seek joy. The tears will come again I'm sure but when they do, I will look inwards to find the place where joy lives and that will get me through.
July 5, 2014
Don't live your life to prove people right or wrong. Just live your life.
I don't spend a lot of time reflecting on my attributes but, when I do, one of the things I'm most thankful for is this ability that God has put in me, to really think things through. My friends refer to it as analytical skills but I just call it thinking. I'm grateful for this ability to go beyond the obvious and really think about the reasons behind an action, the cause and effect, the consequences. I think it has served me well through the years. It has helped me sifter through the murky waters of dubious relationships, fake approvals and superficial interactions. It has also helped me understand when to fight and when to retreat. I am no expert; I sure don't know everything there is to know about everything but I recognize that every situation, whether good or bad, is an opportunity to learn something new, to grow, to become wiser, to understand more about the world we live in, to understand more about human relationships.
Sometimes my emotions get in the way of my thinking. Sometimes, I'm too close to a situation to see it for what it really is. But eventually, I get it. That eventually may come weeks, months or years later but it does come. When it comes, I must take it all in and this might mean accepting the fact that I may have been wrong, that I may have misread, misjudged, misunderstood words, people, situations. It might also mean that my instincts were right, might confirm those first impressions or prove that I correctly interpreted those vibes I got. I want to be able to understand as much as I can about my world, what affects me and the ones I care about. I want to live an authentic life and can't do that if I don't acknowledge my thoughts and my emotions. I know I'm being redundant but this is really important to me. I know judgment is inevitable. I don't live in a vacuum but what matters the most is the way I choose to live my life. I can only control my actions and reactions. I will never be able to control others' actions or reactions to my life, my words or my own actions. I can't. I'll never know the exact reason, moment or thing that triggered a tongue-lashing or malicious act. I may suffer from it but I can't control it. However, I can live my life according to my truth and just handle things as they come. Perfection is not part of my world so I'll make mistakes, probably repeat some but it's all part of the process. I've learned to accept that though it doesn't stop me from thinking about what is actually happening.
I have found that sometimes, it's best to keep going, to keep being me, to keep living and that, actually is the best way to deter criticism.
Suppose, unknowingly to you, rumors are going around about you. You have no idea what those rumors are, no idea they even exist but they're out there. Because you don't know about them, you go on living your life, acting the way you see fit in any given situation and just by doing that, you are actually disproving those rumors. Well, I have found that it's really the best way to handle it. It works because actions always speak louder than words. That my friends, is an indelible truth. Actions will always speak louder than words and so, living your life according to your truth will always be the best way to live. Don't live your life to prove people right or wrong. Just live your life.
This happened to me at work. As the new kid on the block, I was having a hard time. I'm not talking about the unease, discomfort that's part of every new employee's first weeks in a new position. I'm talking a really difficult time connecting and fitting in. Power of deduction told me that there were any number of rumors going around about me. All I had to do was look at the way people were acting, listen to what they were saying and think. Emotionally, it bothered me. I knew virtually no one in this new job but I kept doing what I was brought there to do. Sometimes I got help, sometimes I didn't. But I kept going. I used what I knew, researched what I didn't and after a little while, I found my own rhythm. It wasn't until maybe six months into it that I got an inkling into how people's perception of me was changing simply because of my actions. I never addressed the rumors. I couldn't since I never really knew, just picked up on a few comments here and there and of course, actions. But, and here is the funny thing, people just started, should I say, being friendly or friendlier. All of a sudden, I was being invited to work-related events and the likes... And just like that, I fitted in. I never tried to be different. I never tried to rise to anyone's expectations. I just kept being me. Would I want to repeat this experience. Honestly, no! Did I learn from it? Absolutely. Can I apply what I've learned from this situation to other parts of my life? Certainly. And that's how I go about my life. I call it "Live and Learn", another one of my favorite phrases. So simple, yet so to the point, so true. What's the point of getting hurt if we can't at least learn from it? The way I see it, my pain and suffering should at least yield some hard-earned wisdom. And that's just one of the many examples that have helped me develop my philosophy of authentic self. I have many, many more, so many more! Sometimes, it involves things and people who really matter to me a whole lot more than a job. Sometimes, it's a little more complicated than what I just shared with you but the principle remains. Stay true to yourself.
Before anyone takes my words and runs with them, let me clarify that: When I say stay true to yourself, I don't mean to give into any and all impulses you may have. To go out there and satisfy each and every one of your whims, wants or desires. Stay true to yourself but have a conscience. Try to live a good life. Avoid hurting others as much as possible (sometimes, hurting others is inevitable) but do try to live a joyful life. Fight for what really matters to you but don't purposely step all over someone else's dreams while doing it. Follow your heart but try not to break someone else's in the process. Know that there is a God, a Being, Something out there and connect with that truth too. If you won't acknowledge that, acknowledge that good will always trump bad and choose wisely. So yes, more than one principle but they all go back to living an authentic life. I forgot to add, have a little sense of humor. It helps take away the edge from those intense moments. I will probably add to my list as I go on living and learning and I'm OK with that. Authenticity is not meant to be static but dynamic. As I continue to grow, so it will grow with me. Some things will either be reinforced or taken away and that's fine. It's all part of being human.
Sometimes my emotions get in the way of my thinking. Sometimes, I'm too close to a situation to see it for what it really is. But eventually, I get it. That eventually may come weeks, months or years later but it does come. When it comes, I must take it all in and this might mean accepting the fact that I may have been wrong, that I may have misread, misjudged, misunderstood words, people, situations. It might also mean that my instincts were right, might confirm those first impressions or prove that I correctly interpreted those vibes I got. I want to be able to understand as much as I can about my world, what affects me and the ones I care about. I want to live an authentic life and can't do that if I don't acknowledge my thoughts and my emotions. I know I'm being redundant but this is really important to me. I know judgment is inevitable. I don't live in a vacuum but what matters the most is the way I choose to live my life. I can only control my actions and reactions. I will never be able to control others' actions or reactions to my life, my words or my own actions. I can't. I'll never know the exact reason, moment or thing that triggered a tongue-lashing or malicious act. I may suffer from it but I can't control it. However, I can live my life according to my truth and just handle things as they come. Perfection is not part of my world so I'll make mistakes, probably repeat some but it's all part of the process. I've learned to accept that though it doesn't stop me from thinking about what is actually happening.
I have found that sometimes, it's best to keep going, to keep being me, to keep living and that, actually is the best way to deter criticism.
Suppose, unknowingly to you, rumors are going around about you. You have no idea what those rumors are, no idea they even exist but they're out there. Because you don't know about them, you go on living your life, acting the way you see fit in any given situation and just by doing that, you are actually disproving those rumors. Well, I have found that it's really the best way to handle it. It works because actions always speak louder than words. That my friends, is an indelible truth. Actions will always speak louder than words and so, living your life according to your truth will always be the best way to live. Don't live your life to prove people right or wrong. Just live your life.
This happened to me at work. As the new kid on the block, I was having a hard time. I'm not talking about the unease, discomfort that's part of every new employee's first weeks in a new position. I'm talking a really difficult time connecting and fitting in. Power of deduction told me that there were any number of rumors going around about me. All I had to do was look at the way people were acting, listen to what they were saying and think. Emotionally, it bothered me. I knew virtually no one in this new job but I kept doing what I was brought there to do. Sometimes I got help, sometimes I didn't. But I kept going. I used what I knew, researched what I didn't and after a little while, I found my own rhythm. It wasn't until maybe six months into it that I got an inkling into how people's perception of me was changing simply because of my actions. I never addressed the rumors. I couldn't since I never really knew, just picked up on a few comments here and there and of course, actions. But, and here is the funny thing, people just started, should I say, being friendly or friendlier. All of a sudden, I was being invited to work-related events and the likes... And just like that, I fitted in. I never tried to be different. I never tried to rise to anyone's expectations. I just kept being me. Would I want to repeat this experience. Honestly, no! Did I learn from it? Absolutely. Can I apply what I've learned from this situation to other parts of my life? Certainly. And that's how I go about my life. I call it "Live and Learn", another one of my favorite phrases. So simple, yet so to the point, so true. What's the point of getting hurt if we can't at least learn from it? The way I see it, my pain and suffering should at least yield some hard-earned wisdom. And that's just one of the many examples that have helped me develop my philosophy of authentic self. I have many, many more, so many more! Sometimes, it involves things and people who really matter to me a whole lot more than a job. Sometimes, it's a little more complicated than what I just shared with you but the principle remains. Stay true to yourself.
Before anyone takes my words and runs with them, let me clarify that: When I say stay true to yourself, I don't mean to give into any and all impulses you may have. To go out there and satisfy each and every one of your whims, wants or desires. Stay true to yourself but have a conscience. Try to live a good life. Avoid hurting others as much as possible (sometimes, hurting others is inevitable) but do try to live a joyful life. Fight for what really matters to you but don't purposely step all over someone else's dreams while doing it. Follow your heart but try not to break someone else's in the process. Know that there is a God, a Being, Something out there and connect with that truth too. If you won't acknowledge that, acknowledge that good will always trump bad and choose wisely. So yes, more than one principle but they all go back to living an authentic life. I forgot to add, have a little sense of humor. It helps take away the edge from those intense moments. I will probably add to my list as I go on living and learning and I'm OK with that. Authenticity is not meant to be static but dynamic. As I continue to grow, so it will grow with me. Some things will either be reinforced or taken away and that's fine. It's all part of being human.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)