It's Election Season...

I'm not sure where to start. It's election season so everyone's pretty fired up. Democrats are defending their positions with fiery passion and republicans are attacking relentlessly.  I've said it before but I do get tired of people trying to get fellow Americans to change party on the premise that their vision of life or, of what they stand for is more in alignment with whatever party they're not a part of at the time.  Just let people embrace whatever fits their beliefs! Whatever works for you is for you alone. You fight for what you believe in and I'll fight for what I believe in.
I tend to avoid political discussions with friends, relatives and acquaintances who do not share my political beliefs.  I find that it's just simpler that way.  Now, I feel a lot more at ease carrying on a political discussion in the context of a political forum and love to watch and even at times, participate in the debate that usually follows political news.
I am a catholic Christian and God plays a very important role in my life but I can't vote republican. I think it's just hypocritical and I would love the chance to explain my position.  I see many minority figures in the republican party, many of them are immigrants but nothing, nothing in the republican party's policies is geared towards helping immigrants. That's one. Second, I am pretty much against war unless I'm being attacked and need to defend myself. The republicans  seems to revel in the idea of war-mongering and bring up the possibility of war whenever they are given a chance.  Third, I worry about the environment which the republican party always seems to put on the back burner but I do worry about the ozone layer, our natural resources and using cleaner fuel.  I wonder about the protection of earth's eco-system, wonder about the damage being done, what exactly earth will be like 20, 50, 100 years from now and whether my son, my nieces and nephews and all the kids from their generation will be able to walk and breathe clean air after I'm gone.
And, let's not forget: Education!!!!!!!!!!! I am a teacher. Even if I'm thinking about a change of career, I've taught long enough and can't help but react when I see, hear of, and feel the changes that the republican party makes to education.  Whenever they're in power, education always gets the ax.  They just don't seem to value it at all.  Or rather, since many of them either live in affluent neighborhoods with good schools, send their kids to expensive, elite private schools or homeshool them, they fail to understand how important, how vital education is for the general population, for the ones who don't have other options.  Why is that? They refuse to acknowledge the fact that seeking financial assistance to pay for college is something that more than half of college students do in order to complete their education and act as if everyone has the means to pay for a college education out of pocket.  Yes, the government gives Pell grants, but that's almost never enough and most of the students who need the help to pay almost always end up taking out student loans.  I never understood why college was so unaffordable to the average person but that's another story for another time.  So, if the republican party is advocating that only those people who can pay for college themselves be the ones to attend, the country would in turn suffer a tremendous setback in terms of educated workforce and companies would go looking for qualified workers in countries that yield a higher percentage of college-educated people.  And there would start another source of trouble for our economy. 
I absolutely despise the way the republican party always  finds ways to cut funds to education no matter what they are being used for.  They find a way to cut education even in areas that already suffer from a lack of, or from not enough money but they do it anyway, they do it every time.  And somehow, teachers always find themselves targeted as the reason why things aren't working.  Public schools find themsleves in the hot seat and choice is offered as a solution.  Choice schools or as we call them Charter schools are run by coroporations and claim to offer a better alternative than the failing neighborhood schools.  Some do perform better than their local public schools.  They are not required to abide exactly by the same regulations as their local public schools so they have the flexibility to adopt a different curriculum and discipline model.  However, while charter schools do not charge students for attending their schools, they definitely find ways to make money off of these students.  They are for-profit public schools.  They are run by corporations and corporations have to make a profit.  Why not apply some of the things that work in the successful charter schools to the failing public schools?  No, instead we see a proliferation of charter schools mostly in poor, working class neighborhoods, many of them lacking in appropriate resources and services for the students they serve even when they, in fact tend to attract the students who actually require a high level of support if they are to succeed.  They hire teachers at a lower salary than the traditional public schools because, again they have to make a profit and thanks to the downturn the economy took over 8 years ago, manage to attract qualified teachers because these teachers need a job, and can't find one in their local public schools.  Why? Because of the cuts that are made to education.  But yet, politicians, most of them republicans, go on blaming the teachers.  That's why I want to leave teaching: It has become too politicized. I'm about the kids but they don't want me to work with the kids. They want me to abide by a bunch of  senseless rules and that's how I'm being judged. I'm a good, caring, nurturing teacher if I am to believe parents and colleagues.  I work hard to bring my students' grade up, to make sure they learn and walk way with new knowlege when they leave my class but republicans make it harder on me and others like me. I resent that.  I often think about that and wonder whether any of the people coming up with these new rules are teachers, or have ever step foot in a classroom other than as a student, parent or politician looking for that photo op. Teachers spend hours upon hours of their personal time getting ready for lessons with students in mind but politicians, many of them republicans, argue that teachers have it way too easy the way they earn a living and advocate for performance-based raise and salary.  Never mind that teachers are already at the bottom of the list when it comes to salary.  They earn less than other professionals with a college degree in the course of their career and are required to pursue advance degrees for a chance to increase their earnings, thus putting even more strain on already streched salaries but it's never enough for republicans.  It's almost as if teachers are the enemy, as if it's their fault schools are not performing up to expectations. I won't even get into all the variables that strongly impact education performance in children but I do wish republicans would go teach in the failing schools of their neighborhood and then, would love for them to come and talk to me. 
And now, on to women's issues.  I'm sorry, what is it with republicans and women???!!! What are they doing there? Why are they trying to turn the clock back on all the progress that's been made in regards to women's rights? We're still not at the mountain top and they're already trying to bring us back down.  I can't support that.  There's women pay and then, there's abortion and planned parenthood.  You know what?  I can't tell people what to do when it comes to abortion.  I have no right. I am a Christian, yes I am. But God made us with free will and, I respect people's rights to choose.  I certainly don't think I'm in a position to tell anyone how to live their lives or what to do.  People have a right to choose according to their conscience and I don't agree with the republicans' approach to the whole question of abortion.  Legal rape???!!! Seriously?!!! I can't begin to imagine what I would do, how I would feel and it's just a very, very personal choice. Plus, birth control.  That's just an invasion of privacy in my view.  And they(republicans) talk about not wanting government interference in their life. But yet, they're OK with telling everyone else how to live theirs? I don't think so. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
And please, VOTER'S RIGHTS!!!!!!! The way the republican party is trying to suppress the vote of minority and democrat-leaning pockets in different parts of the country is just shameful.  It just infuriates me to see the shenanigans going on just to make it harder for people to vote. Republicans really don't want Obama to get a second term and they're risking everything to see that it doesn't happen.  But history will judge this period of American politics and history is a merciless judge, isn't it?  Something everyone needs to think about it anyway. 
I have my convictions.  While my husband bleeds democrat, I don't consider myself  fanatical and try to look at things objectively. If the democrats mess up on an issue, I usually engage my husand in a debate about that.  Some may even call me an independent I guess and maybe I am but, when it comes to party affiliations, I'm a democrat.  I may not agree with everything they do (the democrats) but I definitely have more in common with them than I do with the republicans.  I just don't believe in their ideology.  They talk so much about God's teachings but seem to do exactly the opposite of these teachings.  Based on my observations, republicans pretty much seem to believe and live by the motto "Every man/woman for himself or herself" and may the best one get ahead.  C'mon. Read the bible.  God doesn't do that.  Jesus never preached that when He walked the earth.  In fact, he preached the opposite.  "Love thy brother as I have loved you".  I always say that actions speak louder than words:  If you're going to talk the talk, you've got to walk the walk.  I believe in working hard and doing the best that I can for myself and for my family but does that mean I should just worry about me and never look back to lend a helping hand to those in need?  
I don't need to get into the specifics of social problems and sociology 101 but how can a whole group be expected to rise from poverty without any sort of financial backing?  Yes, everyone can work hard and become rich and live the American dream but it's easier to buy a restaurant, start up a business or afford a college education, where  valuable connections are made, when your parents spend years saving for you.  And yes, parents work hard to save that money for their kids; I work hard to pay for my son's therapy sessions but for many, many years, one group had access to many opportunities while another group was denied these opportunities. So for that group, only a few came out of poverty and moved up the social ladder while the other group kept moving ahead steadily.  The group that had it tough for so long has made some progress, too but at a much slower rate/pace than the group that was given so many generous opportunities since the days of early America. This is not to say that the members of this group (opportunity), did not have to work hard, I know they did. but they were getting paid, they saw the fruits of their labor and there resides the main difference. They saw the fruits of their labor. Slaves waited how many years before getting paid for their labor??? How many?  So yes, one group had a nice head start while the other joined in the game way, way later.  I think things are starting to change. I think that maybe, hopefully, by the time my son's generation has its own kids, American society will be more pluralistic and equal in terms of education, opportunities and achievement but we're not there yet.  Not by a long shot.  But republicans refuse to acknowledge this reality.  It's there, it's true, it's known but they refuse to address it. I can't vote for a party that does that!
Now, if the republicans start aligning themselves with these things I believe in, well, shoot, I'll become republican. If they start showing an interest in helping the poor and the destitute, the vulnerable and the weak, such as children and the elderly, if they start talking more about unity and less about war, and if somehow, the democratic party loses its way, and the republican party starts shifting gears and singing a different tune, then, maybe I'll embrace its policies. I know the democratic party has its flaws but I'll take what I consider the lesser of two evils, the one that speaks more to my conscience as a person and to my vision of the world over the one that is so dramatically opposite to my views.  And God will judge me. No one else.  

I'm Still Lucky Enough to Be Married to A Great Guy

The other part of me. I almost lost it. This part that is vital to my happiness, the other half of my heart... It's been five months since I last posted on this blog and I consider it a special blessing that I'm able to do so today. Because truth be told, I'm not sure I would have gone back to blogging if my worst fears had materialized, at least not for awhile.  It was such a close call. I don't know how it is for other people but for me, I never fully understood the depth of my love for my other half until that moment when loosing him became a very real possibility.  In my heart, there's still shock, and disbelief and just confusion... And gratitude, and surprise and just shock... Still. It came out of nowhere, disguised as a cold. Completely hidden under coughs and drowsiness. I had no clue. I knew something was amiss, but what ended up happening was what I expected the least. It came from nowhere and hit me upside the head, threw me down and I thought I would stop breathing. It was one of the scariest, craziest, weirdest days I have ever lived. You know, I had this kind of day before. When C was still in the NICU(Neonatal Intensive Care Unit), I got a phone call urging me to come to the hospital because he couldn't breathe; the nurses and doctors were at his bedside trying to oxygenate but he wasn't getting better. They were fearing the worst. It was a nightmare then. It really was. It's still a pretty tough thing to think about so when this happened, this new, crazy, disbelievable moment when I was told almost the same thing...I felf like it was deja vu, like: Wait a minute! I've been here before, I've been in a place where they wanted me te be prepared for the worst.  Oh No, no, no!!!!!!!!!!! Not again.... Not him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not possible!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And my head just exploded. I felt like a gunshot had gone through it and it was just painfulf, sheer, absolute pain. I just could not bring myself to listen to anymore of this nonsense. I refused to listen. I just couldn't. I walked away. I had a friend with me and I know she held me up but I wanted her to let me go. I just wanted to hide from this nightmarish possibility. I wanted to crawl in a hole, under a chair, under a bed and just close my eyes. It was the same as before but worst, more intense. It was like my arms had been cut off. I became limp I think and I really don't remember what happened. I know people were there. I remember people coming and I couldn't keep my composure. Me, who actually don't like to show emotion in front of stangers... It was just one of those things where I could not control the reaction. And I really did not want to talk. But I had to. Had to because just like I had to for C, I had to make decisions quickly, and pray hard to fight hard. I really don't know why God feels I can handle all of this because I feel, felt broken. Broken then and broken again when this happened. I really get it you know. I get how people feel when  they get bad news. I get how they feel and imagine that, for the ones who experience the actual loss, the pain has to be even worse, more intense. Because I came so close... But, Thank You God, here I am writing about this today. Still weak from it all, still walking the path but so glad my fears did not materialize. So very lucky and thankful, grateful.